Hey! Ladies, let’s have a girly chat. It’s almost axiomatic to say every lady has a mental picture of what her “Mr. Right” should look like. Most of us want the Tall, Dark and Handsome hero in Harlequin’s novels. Others want a man( with an emphasis on the m) with a well built frame and a voice that can make a lady fall head over heels in love. Abeg, who no like good thing?
Often times, ladies reject one proposal after the other because they never seem to find their Mr. Perfect. I am one of those who believe that God can give you the desires of your heart as far as this matter is concerned but sometimes, you hear some ladies say things like he is a great guy but “he is too short”, “his nose is too broad “, ” he does not attend my church”, “his accent is ‘yorubalized” and the “but” list goes on and on
I know these things are important to us but as important as they may seem, they should not be what matters. What should matter is can he love like Jesus does? So, I will you a peep into my checklist…yes, just a peep.
The man that would finally get the sole privilege to walk me down the aisle must pass my litmus test below:
HE SHOULD LOVE ME UNCONDITIONALLY
“Christ commended his love towards us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us” Romans5:8
“Oh! when she sings, the angels spit with envy”, ” her feminine curves and stature just make her special”. The reason why some suitors may stick around is predicated on your abilities or special talents but it should not be about that. The one who should husband you should love you even if all those gifts and talents were absent. He should love for being you and not for the externalities you possess.
This is not to negate the fact that before the possibility of any relationship existing between any two parties, there must be some form of attraction. The point here is that the attraction should not be the main thing
HE SHOULD BE MY HEAD
“The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing it” Ephesians 5:23
Your husband ought to be your head indeed. It is only an irresponsible woman that would choose to submit the rest of her days to a man who doesn’t provide leadership. He should be capable of leading you to your destiny by nurturing you and not by acting as the boss. Jesus, though being the head of the church does not force us to obey his commandments but as we grow in our walk and love for Him, we simultaneously grow into submission and obedience.
HE SHOULD NOT FEEL THREATENED BY MY SUCCESS
“I assure you, most solemnly I tell you, if anyone believes in Me, he will himself be able to do the things that I do; and he will do even greater things than these, because I go to the Father.” John14:12(AMP)
One major source of cold wars in most marriages is a more successful wife. The Bible says the two became one in Genesis. Thus, a well meaning husband should see you as an extension of himself.
One interesting thing is that everything a believer does is in the name of Jesus. So, in real terms, the glory is not to the believer but to Jesus. Little wonder the Bible says in Matthew5:16 that “Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your father which is heaven”!
In the same vein, everything a wife does is to the glory of her husband because she uses his name. So, if he is obviously unhappy about your little successes now, babe, I don’t think he’s the one you have been waiting for.
THE LION AND THE LAMB
You know it is quite funny how Jesus doubles as the Lion of Judah and the Lamb of God. He can be so fierce yet so gentle, so powerful yet so tender. He is so highly exalted yet he is so meek. Your husband should be strong enough to stand by the truth yet tender enough to admit when he is wrong.
A CULTIVATOR NOT A DESTROYER
” Husbands go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the Church- a love marked by giving, not getting, Christ’s love makes the Church whole. His words evoke their beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring out the best in her and that is how husbands ought to love their wives” Ephesians 5:25-28(AMP)
In fact, it seems this one needs no further explanation. The Bible verses are explicit enough. If being around this person makes you feel less valuable, you should never make the mistake of choosing to dedicate the rest of life to him. A man that does not have the capacity to speak words that will bring about your growth but rather chooses to always find faults with whatever you do, should not be the one you should dump your maiden name for.
This does not mean he cannot correct you when necessary but it should be done in love.
HE SHOULD BE SACRIFICIAL
“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the Church and have himself up for her” Ephesians 5:25(KJV)
As it’s very nature, love is not self seeking, rather it is sacrificial. You have been in a relationship for four years and your “relatee” cannot afford to inconvenience himself, if necessary, to give you a treat once in a while or buy you beautiful gifts on your birthday, babe, the truth is you will be the one to buy your baby things and drive yourself to the hospital when it’s time to give birth. Can you picture that? You like? Ok, the rest is left to you!
I believe Mildred is not asking for too much. She only wants you to love her like Jesus does.