Hello dear readers! Welcome back to my blog. Feedback from my previous article, Make Him Wait made me realize that some persons might not have properly understood what making him wait really entails. Hence, this second article to throw more light on my opinion. I will first like to clarify what the wait is not before explaining what it entails.
Making him wait does not equate playing hard to get. It does not mean continually saying no to his proposal and then hoping he waits around for you. It does not also mean stalling to give an answer by telling him that you are praying or thinking about it for months or years when in reality, you are just playing hard to get.
So, what then does it mean to make him wait? A careful consideration of my previous article will reveal that it is written for ladies who are dating or on the verge of it. Hence, making him wait simply means cultivating your relationship with boundaries. It means understanding the dynamics of your relationship per time and acting accordingly. It means losing your desperation if you have any. If he has never seriously spoken about marriage or made concrete steps towards it, do not start picking baby names or deliberating on wedding dates and asoebi colour. Planning an uncertain future – picking baby names, etc will only set you up for a deep heartbreak in a case where things do not turn out the way you want.
The message is if you are interested in someone, don’t be blinded by your interest or love. Take your time. Let him know you are interested and then step back and let him chase you. Don’t take over the chasing duties. Else to the detriment of your heart and emotions, you might be taken for granted. According to my friend, Abudu, “no matter how beautiful, talented, or intelligent a lady is, the moment she starts showing signs of desperation in a relationship, she will be taken for granted.” Don’t forget that the goal of making him wait is not to play games but to protect your heart from potential hurt.
Making him wait also implies having emotional boundaries. Trust me, I know how tempting it is to want to discuss every little thing with someone you like but it is advisable not to do that especially if you are not yet officially engaged to marry. I believe in and recommend intentional dating, that is, dating only those that you can marry but the reality is that we do not always marry those that we date. Hence, for the sake of your own emotional well-being, do not give husband information to a relatee.*
Until you are married, you are single, so guard your individuality. Make conscious efforts not to make him your sole source of emotional support. You might be a wreck if that wedding you have so perfectly planned out does not happen. Having trusted girlfriends that you can share issues with will help you in this regard.
It is important to note that I am not a relationship expert in theory or practice but I am sharing these because I believe ladies can do a better job at protecting their hearts in a relationship. I hope you find this valuable. I love hearing from my readers. Let me know what you think in the comments section.
Happy New Year!
relatee* – someone you are in a relationship with.