“Absence makes the heart grow fonder but continuous absence makes the heart forget”
Thomas Haynes Bayly
“Absence makes the heart grow fonder” is one quote that has been doing a great job at consoling couples who have to cultivate a relationship in spite of distance. And it is true that in some instances, the best way to appreciate something is to be without it for a while. However, we should note that distance does not equate lack of communication. Thanks to social media and instant messaging, there are no longer valid excuses for lack of communication except talking to your relatee* is boring or you have valid reasons to want to leave the relationship. In which case, you should be using the exit before it is too late.
A relationship is not a trophy to be placed on the shelves, it is a garden to be cultivated. A relationship should not be taken for granted. If it is not consciously cultivated, it dies – the butterflies, the love, the decision to stay – everything dies. Just like the farmer and his seeds, in a relationship what you sow is what you reap. If you sow sensitivity, care and attention, you will reap same. Everyone likes to feel valued.
The point here is if you are miles apart from your partner, it is more reason to engage in consistent quality conversations. And if due to some periodic constraints, you cannot have such quality conversations, be thoughtful enough to leave a nice message, send her flowers, just do something to assure her that she is in your thoughts. Sometimes, we cannot avoid physical absence but we most definitely can avoid online absence. Where there is a will there is a way! When you are continually absent especially during your *relatee‘s key emotional periods, it does not make the heart grow fonder. It makes the heart forget!
